Out With the Auld - In With the New

2005 in Review ...according to Al.

• 2005 Coachella Valley Music & Arts Festival featuring Bauhaus, New Order, Prodigy, Coldplay, The Chemical Bros., The Raveonettes, Miss Kittin, Bloc Party, Snow Patrol, Spoon, Nine Inch Nails, Gang of Four, Weezer, Josh Wink, Junkie XL, UNKLE, Gram Rabbit, and oh yeah...ME! Coachella 2006 will be held April 29 & 30. Stay tuned for this year's lineup.
• Sir Bob Geldof revamps the Live Aid concept & launches Live8. The concerts were simulcast on July 2nd in ten different cities including London, Paris, Berlin, Rome, Philadelphia, Tokyo, & Moscow and featured artists such as The Cure, Coldplay, Madonna, Annie Lennox, Jamiroquai, U2, The Killers, Elton John, R.E.M., Paul McCartney, and loads more. The highlight, however, was the reunion of Pink Floyd on stage. 150 bands & 1,250 music artists performed to audiences worldwide in effort to make a step towards ending poverty. The awareness was specifically directed towards the G8 summit and leaders in attendance. Over 30 million people participated in this event in one way or another to support Live8 and the Global Call to Action against Poverty.
• London's Underground subway system encountered a series of 'terrorist' attacks coinciding with the G8 summit. Three blasts occurred between tube stations throughout London. One blast also occurred on a double-decker bus. An Islamic website later posted a statement stating that al-Qaeda was behind the attacks.
• After five glorious seasons, HBO's stellar series Six Feet Under came to an end.
• Perry Farrell gave Lollapalooza another go this year limiting the infamous freakshow festival to one weekend & one location. Artists such as The Killers, The Pixies, Widespread Panic, Digable Planets, and more performed in Chicago's Grant Park for a weekend of Lollafantastic fun.
• The FCC finally pulls the plug on long-time shock DJ Howard Stern. Howard strikes back by taking his show to the big time on satellite radio. Howard's new show airs Jan. 9th on Sirius radio.
• Beatles fans everywhere celebrate the 25th anniversary of John Lennon's death on Dec. 8th.
• The Chicago White Sox sweep the Houston Astros to take the World Series. It took eighty-six years to capture their first title. However, the Cubs have been losing since 1908.
• The NHL season resumed this year after a long, painful hiatus/lockout. The NHL as a whole continues to struggle with poor television coverage, low attendance, and organization abandonment. St. Louis Blues
• Queen returned to the United States to tour for the first time in 20+ years. The original three members (Brian May, Roger Taylor, & John Deacon) joined forces with Paul Rodgers (lead singer for Bad Company) earlier this year and continue to tour not only the US but various other countries as well.
• Floodwaters ravish New Orleans shortly after the arrival of Hurricane Katrina with waters reaching up to twenty feet in depth. Those stranded in the city struggle to survive for several days with no food, water, shelter or sign of relief. The rest of the country got the luxury of seeing these poor people suffer and die on live television. Technology. Improper construction & levee misdesign are labeled the cause on top of just plain ignorance. Thousands perish and a nice chunk of NOLA's population scatter throughout the country anywhere they can find residency. Gas prices soar while FEMA and government relief fail. Meanwhile, thousands are still left homeless, and the great city of New Orleans lay in ruins struggling to survive.

ILL-INI IN '05

• Illinois football says goodbye to head coach Ron Turner and hello to Ron Zook. Zook has a wretched first season at Illinois while Turner takes the off. coordinator spot for the Chicago Bears. Go Bears.
• Illinois Men's basketball has one of it's best seasons in school history. They finish 37-2 overall and earn yet another Big 10 championship. The Illini make their 1st appearance at the NCAA Final Four since 1989 when they fell to none other than Michigan. Unfortunately, they fall to North Carolina in the championship round. Deron Williams & Luther Head take the 1st train to the NBA and are currently making headlines. Meanwhile, Illinois continues to have a good season as they are currently unbeaten thus far.
• Illini hockey is having yet another outstanding season after taking the ACHA Division Championship last year. They are favorites for back-to-back championships this year and are currently 18-0-0 on the season.

in '05

Hunter S. Thompson_Johnnie Cochran_Paul Hester_Johnnie Johnson_Pope John Paul II_Eddie Albert_Robert Hunter_Brenda Howard_John Fiedler_Paul Winchell_Karl Mueller_Jonathan Adams_Anne Bancroft_Jean O'Leary_James Doohan_Edward Bunker_Kevin Hagen_Ray Davis_Luther Vandross_Robert Moog_Esther Wong_Leo Sternbach_Don Adams_Simon Wiesenthal_Bob Denver_Rosa Parks_Nick Hawkins_Stan Berenstain_Ruth M. Siems_Moustapha Akkad_Stanley "Tookie" Williams_Richard Pryor

...until next year.

Hair of the Blog

The anticipated arrival of U2 came & went last night as they took the stage right here in the Lou. The Irish lads played a solid 2+ hour set consisting of old & new material. As usual, their performance was solid on all fronts. If you want to see a great band live, then go see this band. They are phenomenal and will not disappoint. Here are a few highlights from last night's performance.

• Super cool stage set-up & lighting. The lighting was absolutely beautiful including the impressive 'curtain' of lights surrounding the back portion of the stage. Props to the sound/lighting engineer last night & to whomever programmed the light sequences. The stage structure itself looked playful & enticing, and those guys have plenty of energy & endurance despite their age.
• The cell. phone light participation was a trite bit disturbing but visually appealing from above. What ever happened to flicking the old Bic?
• A very special performance of John Lennon's 'Instant Karma' towards the end of the set. Outflippinstanding.
• The availability of Guinness vs. shite A-B products was delightful albeit they were $7.50 a pop.

If you missed it, you're frocked because chances are they won't be back thru the area until after their next release. There are only three North American dates left on the tour, and all shows are sold out.

News Glorious News

New Order are currently working on new material for a forthcoming Ian Curtis biopic. The film entitled Control is based on a memoir by Deborah Curtis, Ian's wife. The kicker is that the film is being directed by none other than Anton Corbijn. Although the focus will be centered around Joy Division, New Order may pump out fresh, new tracks for the soundtrack. Sit down for this next bit. The boys are contemplating playing all-Joy Division live sets in the future so stay tuned.

Elefant will release their second album entitled The Black Majic Show on April 18th. The much-anticipated release is the follow up to their debut album Sunlight Makes Me Paranoid, which received rave reviews. The band is currently on tour with the Black Rebel Motorcycle Club and can be seen at Mississippi Nights in St. Louis on Feb. 25th.

The infamous CBGB will close it's doors on Halloween night 2006. After a hard legal battle, the owner, Hilly Kristal, came to an agreement with the parties involved with spearheading the eviction. Kristal is looking to relocate in Lower Manhattan or perhaps even in another city altogether. 'Twill be a sad day felt across the universe of punk.

Today's the day. Howard Stern will leave the FM radio realm on Dec. 16th. Stern will leave behind a truly remarkable impression across the waves of FM radio as he catapults thru FCC barriers into the market of satellite radio. Stern's new show via Sirius radio premiers Jan. 9th. He will maintain two stations, Howard 100 & Howard 101, and will bring along his infamous cast of deviant sidekicks. May the force be with you, Howard.

Question of the Day

Do you still wear a scrotum ring?

It wasn't a scrotum ring, it was a geish. That is a piercing in the part between your scrotum and your ass. It's supposedly the most erotic place to be pierced, but I would beg to differ with that. I don't know if any piercing is that erotic, really. For me, it was probably about the pain. I knew it was time to get rid of it when one of my kids noticed it and was like, "Why do you have an earring in your ass?" - Dave Gahan

Tune in next time for the exciting conclusion of 2005.

News of the World

Greetings Program. It's that time of year when we are forced to be merry, suck the life from our bank accounts, & consume food/alcohol in excess with little regard for the people who cannot. The time of year where throngs of truly insane people flock to the nearest malls & dept. stores to have their annual holiday flip out. It's madness along the shopping frontline. People with their carts flying all over the place with little regard for their fellow shoppers. Self-medication is a must if you want to survive this onslaught of erratic behavior and indulgence. I've made it thus far without bludgeoning anyone to death with my shopping cart. However, twelve days of this madness still remain.

Throughout the years, there has always been one sole item that incites riots & violence among mothers across the country. This is for whatever reason expected & accepted every year and generally kicks off the day after Thanksgiving. These are the toys that drive parents to kill & maime. This year it happens to be the XBox 360 by none other than Microsoft. Listed below are some of the toys that have sparked historic hysteria over the years.

Tamagotchi's Virtual Pet


Worlds of Wonder's Teddy Ruxpin


Sony's Playstation 2


TYCO's Tickle Me Elmo


Hasbro's Care Bear


Razor's Scooter

Hasbro's Furby


and the Grandmaster Flash of them all...
Coleco's Cabbage Patch Kids



Last Thursday (12/8) marked the 25th anniversary of John Lennon's assassination. Fans flocked to the Imagine mosaic in Central Park then moved on to Strawberry Fields to pay tribute. Yoko Ono was among the throng of followers. His murderer, Mark David Chapman, is up for parole next year, which will make his forth attempt. Lennon would have been 65 years of age if he were alive today.

The much anticipated U2 concert is finally upon fans in the St. Louis area. The festivities kick off in approximately 120 minutes at the fine Hooters establishment located in Union Station. Pitchers and wings for all to enjoy. The show kicks off at 7:30PM with Kayne West. Hey, don't ask me. I didn't book the show opener. At any rate, U2 fans should head towards their seats between 8:30 and 9PM should they choose to bypass Kayne West's set.

Lastly, a big, fat goes out to John today as he celebrates his 14th birthday. May the waitress grant him a jubblie dance for everyone should have a go at the jubblies on their birthday.

Cheers!

The Music Is So Loud

Gr__t_ngs f_ck_rs.

Enough dilly dallying & on to the music I say. So the new Madonna single is rather catching despite the fact that the main chorus loop was ripped straight from the heart of Abba. I love Abba, f_ck you very much. Either way, it is a catchy loop and mixes well, but I frown upon sampling.

The new Depeche Mode single "Precious" is also catchy and includes a lovely remix by none other than Sasha, which is quite tasty. Their new album Playing the Angel is out and getting decent reviews from what I've read. I have yet to acquire this album as I am a little hesitant after the last two monstrosities. The new single is certainly tolerable so I recommend giving it at least a fair shot if you're aboard the DM bandwagon. If you're not, then follow these quick & easy steps to acquire a pass...
1. Slap yourself senseless.
2. Purchase (or download) Music For the Masses and/or Violator. Start there.....baby steps. Once you've acquired a taste for some fine DM, you may acquire Black Celebration & Some Great Reward. Avoid Exciter & Ultra like the plague, and gradually work towards taking enjoyment in some of the older albums including People Are People, Speak & Spell, Broken Frame, etc. Use caution....some of those tracks are relatively wretched.
3. Acquire pass & hop aboard.

Very simple, folks. Here are a few reviews involving recent purchases/downloads of my own. These come with high recommendation so do yourself a favor & check them out.

!!! - !!!
- Yes, the band is entitled !!! (pronounced chk chk chk). I picked up on these guys a while back & finally got around to picking up their 1st release. This album is an aural onslaught of various sounds & beats. It's a little crunchy, yet it has an oh so yummy beat. They also have a 2nd album Louden Up Now released in 2004 that I will most likely hunt down very soon. In the meantime, I highly recommend giving this one a spin. I give this bad boy .

Bloc Party - Silent Alarm
- This band caught my attention as they were among the throng of bands featured at the 2005 Coachella Valley Music & Arts Festival. I unfortunately did not get the opportunity to see them but decided to check them out later in life. This is their most recent release & is chocked full of yummy musical goodness. This album has nice sound and overall flow. I give it.

Ladytron - The Witching Hour
- Ah, yes....a new Ladytron album. This, folks, is almost as exciting as a new Daft Punk album, but not quite. I have much love for Ladytron and have since I first stumbled across them circa 2000-2001. However, I have acquired somewhat of an addiction to this album. It's Ladytron with an extra kick to the groin. This album may be their finest work to date in my opinion.

Spoon - Gimme Fiction
- Yet another band I managed to miss at Coachella. I actually picked up two albums...the other being an older release entitled Kill the Moonlight. This album received high praise via useful & useless media sources. Praise well earned as this album is pleasing to the ear & mind. Not quite as sullen as say Bloc Party but not an overdose of anti-depressants either. I also recommend checking out Kill the Moonlight if you enjoy this album.

That about wraps up my new releases. Tune in next time for more exhilarating, useless information.

Last Night A DJ Saved My Life

"...from a broken heart."
What up, sluts? It's another manic Monday, but at least it's a short week. This is a anti-football post.
In fact, I will be a peach & refrain from discussing anything directly related to sports altogether. And the crowd goes wild....
So let me get the music news out of the way. If you're looking for something to do this weekend, Bad Boy Bill is in town & will be spinning on 11/25 at Ten14, a downtown sushi bar/lounge. BBB spins one mad, @ss-shaking set. I highly recommend checking him out if the opportunity is there. Also in town this week is the highly acclaimed Australian Pink Floyd tribute band. Not a huge cover band supporter, but the reviews/opinions seem optimistic about this particular band. They will be performing at the Savvis Center on 11/25 at 8pm. The Psychedelic Furs will be performing at the Voodoo Lounge in Harrah's on 12/15 for a mere $25 a pop.
The big show is right around the corner. They will be at the Savvis Center on 12/14. If you're tossing around the idea of going but haven't purchased that ticket just yet, slap yourself senseless & just order the damn thing. U2 puts on one phenomenal live show. You will thank yourself later in life. I am happy to announce that I will be there in full force with my entourage. Section 309 Row B....stop by & buy the girl a drink. A Guinness will suffice. A product of Budweiser will get you slapped. Repeatedly.

DJ Eurogirl (that's me) has been back on the "decks" for the first time in months compliments of . Working on producing a nice collection of continuously mixed tracks (old & new skool) guaranteed to make you shake that @ss & bounce those tatties. Interested in obtaining a cheap DJ for your personal use & pleasure? Looking to spice up that house party? Look no further. I am at your service fo' free, my beloved followers . That's right, free. You heard it here, folks. I also do weddings, Bar Mitzvahs, & graveside burials upon special request. However, I do keep my clothes on....most of the time. I'm on the cusp of thrusting a new genre through the thresholds of electronic music . It shall be known as trouseno and will pose as a merger across the three more popular 'dance' genres....trance, house, & techno.
One moment while I contain myself.


Tune in tomorrow for the music review portion of the show.

Until next time...






"Decide it's time to reinvent yourself."

Sick & Disgusted

Greetings sh!tlits. So I'm sitting here watching White Palace (another personal favorite of mine) recuperating from this damnable illness/disease I've seemed to acquire over the past year or so. Don't worry. It's not a toomah. It's actually called COPD (Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease), and it basically sucks. It makes breathing real difficult & can even be a little scary & somewhat life-threatening at times. I won't go into the boring details, but you can read more about it @ . There's not a whole lot to do whilst down with the sickness. Wah-ah-ah-ah. Sorry, I had to. Not much to do but watch TV/movies & sleep. I've managed to watch Das Experiment, Jackie Brown, Hoosiers, Meet the Fockers, and a handful of documentaries & Rosanne reruns. Exciting...I know.

So I'm pretty disappointed with the wide world of sports. It seems that everything that can possible go wrong has for my precious Illinois football team. However, we (beloved Illini fans) assumed that it would be a rough season due to a change in coaching staff & implementation of a new football program. I still have hope that Coach Ron Zook will mold a competitive team together within a period of 2-3 years. However, the team itself & their performance this year was extremely disappointing & painful to witness.

Now....let's talk hockey...oh let's. The Blues are having the most wretched season in years. We're talking about a team that has made the playoffs consistently for the past 25+ years. They may have fallen within the 1st or 2nd round throughout countless playoff appearances, but at least they actually had decent seasons & made it to the playoffs. The lockout is not entirely to blame. It's abandonment from their owners (The Lauries a.k.a. Heartless Wal-Mart f*cks) and quite possibly one of the worst GMs of all time....Mr. Larry Pleau. The man did nothing to recoup the team following the lockout. He traded his best defensemen (Chris Pronger) for a crap player (Eric Brewer) and managed to keep the old, crappy players that fell apart in the pre-season. Unfortunately with the retirement of Al Macinnis, the Blues were left with no solid defensemen & various holes in both goalie, center, & forward positions. Al's retirement was expected & well overdue, and I greatly, greatly miss his presence on the ice. Yet, the management did nothing to fill this gigantic void. It's a very sad state when attending the games. The attendance is way below par, and the team plays even worse. I have never walked out of a hockey game in disgust until this season. It's a huge disappointment to Blues fans, and it puts the question in the minds of the fans whether the team will survive here. They can't find buyer and will most likely continue to have problems if the season continues as it began. It's a sad state of affairs, my friends.

Shall we talk about NFL Fantasy Football too while I'm on my soapbox? Nah....it's just for fun, but it sure is frustrating when players are consistent. I personally do not care for the NFL as an organization. They are a huge, greedy, evil corporation just like any other. I like the sport itself, and that's it. The drama amongst players is ridiculous, and most of the players seem inappreciative of the opportunity they have been given. They make millions for playing a game. No, I'm not talking about the T.O. situation in particular. Actually, I think T.O. is somewhat in the right (this time) and the Eagles management are idiots for dropping him. The overrated b!tch on the Philadelphia Eagles is none other than Donovan McNabb. T.O. is a sh!t, but he's still a damn good wideout so the Eagles lost out but dumping him, and their recent performances have proved it. I was hoping the Falcons would pick him up, but that's doubtful. The Falcs need a solid wideout, but I believe there's beef with the off. coordinator & T.O. that dates back to his 49er days. We shall see how it all pans out as the season unfolds. By the way, the Colts will take Lombardi this year, and you can quote me on that.

In baseball news (while I'm on sports), Busch Stadium is in the process of being demolished. There's a decent chunk missing now as they are tearing it down in segments. It will be rather sad when it's gone. It's always been a scenic sight as you cross over the Poplar Street Bridge heading west thru St. Louis. Although I watched the destruction of the Arena live via television a few years ago, I wasn't quite as saddened to see it go as I was Busch. I attended many, many baseball games at Busch, but I only set foot in the Arena once to see the Ice Capades of all things. All good things must come to an end, I suppose. Remember it well. It will be gone forever soon.


I recently received a handful of 'new' CDs in the mail including The Damned anthology, the new Trail of the Dead release, an old Cure CD, and a few others. Stay tuned for the reviews as I know I've been slacking in the music info. dept.

Until next time...

Everyday Is Halloween

Yes, it's finally here.

The great party weekend came & went. I didn't quite make it past Friday night/Saturday morning, but nobody's perfect. I can honestly say I put quite the dent in the keg in which I dranketh from.....all night long.
Quick impression of me Saturday. Hey, at least I left with my shoes on unlike some folks I happen to be acquainted with. Needless to say the encore presentation of my beloved costume did not happen. There are pictures floating about of the great costume of 2005, and I will desperately attempt to acquire a few to post here.
The great costume was .....
a hermaphrodite flasher. Think about it.....I'll give you some time.

I will admit that running around fairly inebriated with a prosthetic penis attached to my waist was good, clean fun. The question is how does one outdo oneself after that? It will happen, my friends. Keep the faith.

So I'm trying to get my shiznit together & head back into the classroom right? Now one would think peers, co-workers & so on would be supportive of this or at least have some words of encouragement. Mind you, finishing an undergraduate degree program when you're a real person that has to work & pay bills is hard enough. It's 10x as frustrating when the universities (public) in the metro area have nothing other than nursing & business programs to choose from. If you're going to pay out the @ss for a college degree, I assume one would want to choose a degree program to his/her liking. So I have been searching for a basic psychology program (B.S. - no, not bullsh!t) offered in the evenings.

Since I made the announcement that I wish to return to school & finish what I started say 10 years ago, the support has been a little dismal....primarily because of the degree program I selected (Psychology). Firstly, I have no desire to be a shrink/therapist/mindf*cker in any way, shape, or form. It will be used for self-therapy more than anything I suspect. Secondly, I do not wish to use this degree in any way to obtain a career within the field of psychology or counseling. Thirdly, I'm doing this for me and only me because this is one of the goals set by myself in which I have yet to complete. Why psychology, you ask? It's quite fascinating to me. It interests me. I will actually have a desire to attend class & pay attention rather than slice my wrists. If any of you have had the misfortune of taking an economics class, then you understand. Hell, I might even be inclined to take on the master's program, but let's not go crazy just yet. Go crazy...get it? So a little support would be stellar. I'm at my last alternative, which is a private university....and unfortunately these are pricey places to attend.

Al's Ever-Changing College Career
Music Merchandising (applied to SIUE circa 1994 - never made it)
Music (gen. ed. reqs. towards B.A. @ LLC circa 1994-1995)
Computer Programming or something another (LLC circa 1996-1997)
General Ed. (Assoc. in Arts - Parkland College circa 1998....great school/great administration)
Computers (forgot the program title - Associate in Science - BAC/SWIC circa 2002 I think)
Music Merchandising (again...but shut down due to no evening availability...SIUE admin. sucks)
Business Admin. (forced into program due to lack of evening program avail....see above)
Psychology (TBD)

I've managed to acquire two Associate degrees & a buttload of credits over this 10+ year span. Perhaps I can sell them to needy students on the black market. But enough about me. That is my rant for the day.

I was recently informed that my dear, sweet mother has been following this particular blog, which was albeit shocking at first. However, it's all good, Hollywood. So...


On the flip-flop, yo.....

The Witching Hour

......3:15AM.

Not really. It's stolen from The Amityville Horror in which case it would be say the hour of the damned rather than the witching hour.

Speaking of evil & those pesky spirits that possess, the RFT (Riverfront Times) has a huge article about the actual house The Exorcist is based upon. All the pea soup puking sacrilege hoopla didn't go down in Georgetown as depicted in the film. It happened right here in the Lou. Apparently, the real estate agent attempting to sell the property doesn't appreciate the media attention. I wouldn't know why.
Check out the full story at Good Christian Home Needs Occupants.

Well, the White Sox kicked the poo out of the Astros in appropriate fashion. The Sox swept the Astros last night & were crown World Series Champions. The sweep was much appreciated by Cardinal fans despite the fact that the Cardinals were swept during last year's World Series. Baseball's over....moving on.

VH1 is airing yet another ten episode series of I Love the 80's. This round is dubbed I Love the 80's 3-D and has already revived a barrage of well repressed memories & have only viewed '80-'85. Here are some the wonderful (and not-so-wonderful) memories recently salvaged compliments of VH1.

"We're Coming to America" & Neil Diamond as The Jazz Singer (It pained me then.)
My Bodyguard (One of my all-time favorite movies)
Fashion Plates
"I'm A Pepper" jingle
You Can't Do That On Television (I would give a boob for a DVD set of the entire series)
Circus of Stars
The Great Tylenol Tampering Scare
The 25,000 Pyramid
The Legend of Bille Jean (another one of my favorites)
The Pepsi Challenge
TV's Bloopers & Practical Jokes
My Buddy & Kid Sister
The Horrific Joe Theisman Injury (which they show over & over & over....Gross!)

Check out for showtimes.

The Halloween party weekend kicks off tomorrow. I will make my 1st appearance in full costume tomorrow evening & an encore Saturday evening. One keg of beer chilling peacefully in the trunk of my car so all is well on my end.

Until next time...

Sunday Night Insanity

How the halibut is everyone out there? My weekend is creeping to a halt on this fine Sunday evening. Watching Emeril do a little cooking. Emeril has done wonders educating me about the science of cooking. Not to mention the humor I find in his animation. OOH Aqua Teen Hunger Force.....#1 in the hood, G.

Moving on...

Did I mention in my last blurb that I was going to the Illinois/Penn State game on Saturday. I lied. I will never under any circumstance admit that I attended that game. I will happily admit that I attended the Illinois/Michigan State hockey game, which certainly made the drive worthwhile. They embarrassed the Spartans on Saturday with a final score of 8-2. They also slapped MSU around the prior evening with a score of 8-0. Illini hockey is not affiliated with the NCAA as they are associated with the ACHA. They were crowned ACHA Champions in 2005 and are currently ranked #1 with an unbeaten record of 8-0. I used to be a regular at Illini hockey games when I resided in the Champaign area so this was my 1st trip back. Folks, these guys are good so I highly recommend checking them out if the opportunity should arise. For more info. on Illini Hockey, click below.


So the Sox are up 2-0 in the World Series. They travel to Houston to see if they can't wrap this party up in four games. I suppose I wouldn't mind seeing the Astros suffer just a little. Next topic of discussion.

I know everyone is dying to know what I have cooked up for Helloween. I can confirm that the costume is nearing completion. The key parts, shall we say, have been carefully crafted and prepared for the festivities. However, I will keep you, my loyal readers....all two or three of you, in suspense for now.


Yes....I know.

As a teaser, I've listed some highlights of my history of Helloween costumes below. Some won awards, some got me laid, and a few got enough attention to last a lifetime. These are chronological for the most part.

Vampire - original no, but isn't everyone a vampire at least once in their life? At least I wasn't a ghost.
Life-Size Gizmo - well, grade school kid-sized anyway (hand crafted by my dear mother)
Darth Vader - one of my favorites as it was bad @ss & also hand crafted by my mums)
Jason - again not that original, but it was cool once.
Axl Rose circa 1991-1993 - included catcher's chest protector & one roll of tube socks stuffed down my shorts
Super Condom - I not only promoted safe sex with my costume, but I handed out condoms throughout the bar. Some were also inflated & spanked across the dance floor. Condomania.
The 7ft. Lovable, Squeezable Penis - by far my all-time most outrageous costume to date. I was stroked endlessly all night.
Life-Size Bloody Tampon - Gross but funny as hell apart from the fake blood that I managed to get everywhere.

That brings us up-to-date. Soon another will be added to the hall of Helloween.

Well, it is no longer Sunday evening so I believe sleep is in order. I have been slacking miserably with music news, concert updates, & all other associated shite so tune in next time for an onslaught of all things music. Also more Helloween madness & who knows what else?

Until then....

Helloween

It's that time again, my beloved creatures of the night.

Ten more days 'til ....Silver Shamrocks.

Halloween....you either love it or hate it. Jello & Al once spoke (or sang I should say) about the fabrication of acceptance among society on this particular day. In other words, we (society) allow ourselves to dress up on Halloween in roles or characters that would normally be deemed 'weird' any other day of the year. However if you are who you are the other 364 days of the year, then you are excluded from the majority. I personally just take my weird, freakish qualities a step (or ten) further. Outdoing myself each year is becoming a challenge. Moving on...

There are unlimited activities to do in the area throughout the season. Pseudo-haunted houses, mansions, and other ridiculous events are a waste of money & time. If haunted houses & spooks are what you're after, then I highly recommend taking one of the haunted tours in beautiful Alton, Illinois. Alton is a hotbed for paranormal activities and has it's share of alleged spirits, ghosts, & lost souls.
Check out Haunted Alton for more information.

MOVIES!
If you're a smidge bit on the dark side of the force, then there must be at least one appealing horror flick you love to watch during this time of year. There are countless thriller/suspense/horror flicks worth checking out whether you're in it for the gore, carnage, or scare factor. Here are some of my favorites. Light some candles, dim the lights, & turn up the surround sound for proper ambiance. Grab someone hot to pounce as well for those scary segments.

The Exorcist (Director's Cut)
The Ring
Halloween
Halloween II
Carrie
Rocky Horror Picture Show (...don't dream it be it!)
Hellbound: Hellraiser II
The Silence of the Lambs
The Amityville Horror
Creepshow
Rosemary's Baby
Wes Craven's New Nightmare
The Shining
Seven
Rear Window
Bram Stoker's Dracula
Cujo
Duel
Edward Scissorhands
Final Destination
Final Destination 2
From Hell
Jeepers Creepers
Lost Highway
It
Maximum Overdrive (...for the cheese lover in me)
Scream
Blair Witch Project (I liked it, f*ck you very much)

Check back soon for a complete description on Al's Halloween costume creation of 2005. I am off to watch Illinois take on Penn State at home. It will be cold out there as it is a night game. Think of me as I'm freezing my @ss off. Cheers!

Back In Black

Well, well, what the hell? I'm not dead just yet so those of you eyeballing my possessions & life insurance policy can bugger off.

So here I am deep in the thicket of a sportophile's wet dream. Once baseball & football come to an end, I may have to check myself into some sort of rehab as I suspect I will suffer from some strange form of athletic withdrawal. Here's the skinny.

Football, a.k.a. NFL & NCAA, are well underway. The 1st season of the Ron Zook era in Illinois has been a disappointment thus far. Granted the Big 10 is one of the top Division I conferences in NCAA football, and players need time to adjust to a new coach & football program. However, their overall performance on the field was a disappointment after a 2-0 start and a well played game against #15 Cal - at the time. Illinois football will close out the season with two home games featuring Penn State & Wisconsin, and the final game at Northwestern. They will play OSU & Purdue on the road prior to the game @ Northwestern. There have certainly been some great games in college football throughout the 2005 season. Last weekend featured #1 USC vs. the Fighting Irish, who have had a stellar season. Joe Paterno is also having a great season at Penn State. They were able to upset OSU but took a heartbreaking loss to Michigan last weekend. As for Illinois, well....there's always next year.

This NFL season I opted to hop aboard the fantasy bandwagon. I probably haven't enjoyed an NFL season as much as I have this season due to the interaction via fantasy teams. Surprisingly enough, my teams aren't doing that bad. It's a learn on the go experience but certainly an enjoyable one. All I can say is that if you were one of the fortunate ones to draft LT.... you f*cking suck! Only kidding. Go Falcons!


Is that Illinois basketball I smell? It's about that time. The annual Paint the Hall Orange Men & Women's B-Ball season kick-off scrimmage was held last Saturday night at the Assembly Hall in beautiful Champaign, Illinois. I had the wonderful opportunity to meet some of the players including Dee Brown, James Augustine AND Coach Bruce Weber prior to kickoff at the MSU/Illinois football game. I was dumbfounded for the rest of the day, my friends. At any rate, expect positive results from this group of exceptional athletes. After last year's phenomenal season, these boys know how high the bar has been set. They have alot of talent on the floor and on the backburner for seasons to come. The men's season kicks off the 1st week of November so stay tuned!

That's right, folks! Hockey is back. Despite the bullsh!t & salary politics, it's good to have hockey back. Unfortunately, the Blues are off to a ragged start, but it's a long season with plenty of time for improvement & trades. There are also some rule enhancements. At last, the two-line pass is back. Goalies are a bit more restricted when handling the puck in their own zone, and the actual dimensions of their equipment have also been altered making pads & gloves slightly smaller. The league decided to tighten up on obstruction in effort to produce more offensive hockey vs. your standard grinding it out for the puck. This has generated an early spike in obstruction penalties but may balance out as players get adjusted to new standards & league expectations. Who knows which teams will excel as the season goes on?

Last, but not least. Did anyone happen to catch Game 5 of the NCLS last night? If you didn't, you missed a remarkable comeback by the Cardinals in the 9th inning. It looked rather dismal after Berkman's three-run homer in the 7th putting the Astros ahead 4-2.
Two outs in the 9th with runners on 1st & 3rd. Up comes Phat Albert, & POW! Cards hold off the Astros 5-4. Cardinals bring it back home to face Houston & avoid elimination in Game 6 tomorrow night at 7:30pm CST. The good news is that the last two games of this series will be played at home. The Cardinals must win both to advance. The winner of the NCLS will go on to face the Chicago White Sox in the World Series. Get crazy...go nuts.

Mental Health

"God is dead & no one cares"

Depression - a mental state characterized by a pessimistic sense of inadequacy and a despondent lack of activity; sad feelings of gloom and inadequacy caused by a chemical change that affects how the brain functions.

Yes, my friends, it truly does suck for lack of a better term. I didn't lose my wife or husband nor my job or the kids. Hell, I don't even have kids. But by no means does that concur that life is a box of f*cking chocolates either. So I thought rather than waller in my cesspool of grief, I shall put forth information on the topic of depression.

You see I wasn't always like this. In fact, I'm not quite sure when it all came about full circle. I suppose that's what you pay those expensive therapists to figure out. Anyway, it may have been a problem brewing deep under the euphoria of youth. I can't complain about my childhood. If I had to take a stab at when this depression business started to surface, I would say roughly between the years of eleven & fourteen. Those are already troubling times for a kid. Add humility & constant harassment to that, and you're one bummed out kid. As things picked up later in my teenage life, it was once again beaten into submission by the rapture of youth.

Well, obviously the naivete & splendor of being young ends as you grow older. All the stress factors of being an adult take hold & break away the shield your youthful happiness worked so hard to build. Eventually, that damned depression once again penetrates thru, & bickety bam you're bummed. Enough about me.

I put together some entertaining yet useless crap that might shed some humor on your sorrowed mind. Enjoy & cheer up for f*ck's sake.

Worst Things to Say To Someone Who is Depressed
Way too many to list. However, you can add new lines to the list. Mine would read as follows:
Have another drink. Tomorrow will be worse.

Albums I Highly Recommend Avoiding When Depressed

• A Rush of Blood to the Head - Coldplay
• Black Celebration - Depeche Mode
• Unknown Pleasures - Joy Division
• This Is My Truth Tell Me Yours - Manic Street Preachers
• The Fragile - Nine Inch Nails
• Faith - The Cure
• The Wall - Pink Floyd
• Ok Computer - Radiohead
• Surfacing - Sarah MacLachlan
• Starfish - The Church
• Dirt - Alice In Chains (chocked full of suicidal lyrics)
• Source Tags & Codes - And You Will Know Us By the Trail of the Dead
• Master of Puppets - Metallica (yes...Metallica)

These are a few from my personal stash. I tend to steer clear of all Joy Division, Morrissey, & early Cure albums during dark times. Lately, I've grown quite partial of jazz, swing, & big band as it seems to stimulate sporadic waves of happiness throughout my battered mind. It beats the hell out of crying uncontrollably & obsessive rumination. Oh and wear alot of black. It tends to deter those overjoyous, annoying people who feel inclined to pry & resolve your problems on sight.

Well, I must return to my cavern of gloom & doom. Darkness & dementia. Briefly in regards to current events, NOLA is flooding again. The levee in the lower 9th ward has been breached by water caused by the storm surge from Hurricane Rita. Unfortunately, the storm has taken a more northbound trajectory vs. the westbound route originally predicted. Is it just me or does this seem like to beginning of the end? First Adolf Bush II gains control of the country, then came 9-11, then unjustified warfare & genocide, then the re-election, and now storm after storm battering the Gulf Coast with absolute shite federal organization & support.

George W. Bush.... You are truly a f*cking moron and should be tried for countless acts of negligence & murder for all the innocent lives you have destroyed during your reign. Impeachment is too kind.

Much deserved love once again to the folks in/from NOLA & the surrounding areas who have already dealt with enough loss & tragedy to last a lifetime.

Football & Life Thereafter

Well, it's September. Time for football, my friends. College football kicked off a couple weeks back, and the NFL is off and running after today's assortment of games. I jumped on the fantasy bandwagon this year to test my ownership/coaching skills so I have been online obsessing over my players & watching adamantly all blessed day. Thought I'd get a little fantasy practice before I take on the 82 game beast of a hockey fantasy season. The great news is that the Rams lost today to none other than San Francisco. My man, Brandon Lloyd had an outstanding catch for a touchdown in the 1st half. B. Lloyd is from my beloved Fighting Illini football squad. I had the opportunity to watch him blossom as a young player.

That brings me to my next point of business....college football. My favorite f*cking time of the year. Illinois kicked off their season opener to Rutgers two weeks ago. This was Ron Zook's 1st appearance as coach, and let me tell you... it looked ugly for the 1st half. I sat there for two agonizing quarters begging for someone to kill me. It was embarrassing to say the least....and of course ESPN2 was there to present it all to those within viewing coverage. And then came the 2nd half. Suddenly, their heads were plucked from their asses, and they began to take charge. They rallied to come back & win the game in OT 33-30, and the players & fans were ecstatic. It was a relief to see that they actually could play football. After all, the past 2-3 seasons have been somewhat painful to bare witness to.

Week 2..... a spectacular week in college football if I do say so myself. The Illinois hosted San Jose State on Saturday afternoon and proceeded to smack the shite out of them all day. Both offense & defense looked 75-85% better than the previous week, and they didn't take an the entire 1st half to get their shit together. Meanwhile, Notre Dame proceeded to kick Michigan's @ss. Iowa State completely annihilated Iowa.....huge, huge upset. Lastly, the much overrated #4 Ohio State Buckeyes lost at home to #2 Texas Longhorns. That was an exciting to watch in case you missed it. All three loses are good for Illinois should they continue to stay consistent & win. There is hope, my orange & blue believers. Unfortunately, Purdon't did win....always a disgusting feeling.

Week 3 takes the Fighting Illini crew west as they take on the Cal Bears. This will ultimately be the 1st true challenge of the season. Big 10 play kicks of Sept. 24 when the Fighting Illini host the Michigan State Spartans.

Things are slowly, slowly....and I do mean slowly showing signs of improvement in the Mississippi/Louisiana areas. I was fortunate enough to get in touch with my friend who resides in New Orleans. A friend & I have also taken it upon ourselves to gather items such as clothing, money, & household items to send his way and expect to make the 1st shipment tomorrow. The extraordinary thing is that we have had great support from friends & coworkers and have been fortunate to collect several shipments worth of goods. What our friend cannot use he will be able to pass on to others in need. Just trying to do what we can with what we have as every little bit helps. I strongly advise finding a reliable donation site or location and giving either monetary donations or items that are in dire need at this time. Extra clothing, shoes, towels, soap, toothpaste, toothbrushes, hairbrushes, shampoo and etc. & etc. These will make life & their unfortunate circumstances a little easier to cope with as they begin the recovery process. My friend is actually staying in nearby Baton Rouge in hopes to help get involved with the clean-up & recovery of New Orleans as quickly as possible. I assure everyone that I will be making a road trip back to New Orleans shortly after the city has fully recovered to witness the rebirth of New Orleans. Such an extraordinary city...

Keep the peace, my friends. Too much hate & prejudice in the world. Much love.

Until next time...

NOLA

A few years ago, I had the pleasure of exploring the city of New Orleans. I was also fortunate to have an excellent guide who had previously lived there & knew the territory. Some of the history behind the city itself is truly amazing. I attended a wedding aboard a riverboat and cruised alongside the city & the French Quarter. Everything about the city.... the history, the people, the atmosphere, the dark pubs & voodoo shops...absolutely fascinating. I even deeply considered packing up the party & moving there shortly after my return. The humidity & nutria overpopulation were among a few of the factors that convinced me to stay put.

I caught some of the media coverage this afternoon via MSNBC & CNN and was completely astounded. This once phenomenal city now sits in ruins gasping for survival. It's hard to fathom that the coverage broadcast by the media is even within the boundaries of this country.

But it is...

Martial law is in order. The residents of NOLA have been stranded on the island of what remains of the city above flood level. The fact that people are suffering....waiting to die on the streets. This is above & beyond truth that there are still God knows how bodies undiscovered & decaying throughout the entire Louisiana/Mississippi coast. The condition of New Orleans itself is an absolute outrage. The inhumanity is completely surreal.

To witness this city lay in ruins is saddening to me. NOLA was always one of the cities I hoped to explore in my lifetime, and I had the fortunate opportunity given to me by a friend that still resides there. I will always have the memories of how breathtaking the city was as well as how beautiful the people were. A city that thrived on artists, musicians, entertainers, and peddlers of various wares.

to the alcoholic clown balloon artist at the punk pub on crack...
to the punk pub that served perfect black & tans at 9am
to the black male dance group in lime green jump suits (i have their act on tape...amazing)
to the other Allison who had great stories about babysitting Sid Vicious & following the Sex Pistols years prior
to riverboat weddings
to the bar who's balcony overlooking a sidestreet in the Quarter(justice was burned)
to the many artists in the quarter
to the record store dealer who sold an out of print Dead Kennedys album to me at a reasonable price
to the same record store dealer & his friend who shared party favors with us in the rain while watching the infamous Krewe du Vieux parade (that's the dirty pervert parade for you newbies)
to Mike's mom, husband, brother, family, & friends
and especially to Mike....I hope you're ok.

May immediate peace be restored so that this once extraordinary city can hopefully rebuild & start anew. It is imperative that they stop the bleeding for the recovery can begin. That in itself will take much time & patience which is virtually inexistent as it is. But I have hopes that NOLA will breathe life once again.

This puts a bit of a damper on the Illinois football home opener this weekend. However, football seems trivial compared to the current events.

Until next time...

Updates & Bullshit

Greetings. It's Sunday. The day of rest. The day of worship. The day of recovery.

I have returned from the latest Schwagstock event smelling of river funk, smoke, and a handful of other various stenches from sources unknown. All in good fun, my skeptical friends. The scenery was quite magnificent. If ever in need of a new, exciting place to camp, be sure to check out Camp Zoe just outside of Salem, MO. Beautiful country, folks.

On to the beef I say...

Hunter Thompson was put to final rest this past weekend. His ashes were blended inside a colorful array of fireworks and shot from a cannon at his renowned Owl Farm Saturday evening. There were an assorted mix of friends, fans, celebrities, and paparazzi on hand to attend the affair. It was also reported that Johnny Depp covered the tab, which is never cheap when it comes to a Hunter Thompson extravaganza.


Six Feet Under came to an end last weekend as well with a tear jerking 75 min. grand finale. It you missed it, I'm sure the network will air it several times over the next week or so. It will definitely leave an impression on HBO viewers, and I know it will leave an irreplaceable void in my Sunday night TV schedule. Not sure what Alan Ball has on the backburner (if anything) but I look forward to his next adventure. If you missed the bus, you can rent or purchase the previous four seasons on DVD. Check out your local DVD/video store for availability. While you're there, check out American Beauty. More excellent Alan Ball material.

Fighting Illini football begins in approximately 10 days. They will take on Rutgers on Sept. 3rd for their 2006 season home opener. Kickoff is set for 11am, and ESPN2 will cover the game. Despite the recent controversy, Illinois fans are anxious to get this year underway under new head coach, Ron Zook. It will be interesting to see what changes he has implemented to the Illinois football program not to mention game time results. Zook was brought to Illinois in effort to turn the tides & put Illinois football back on the radar. We shall see if the new coach is up to the challenge.

The 2006 NFL season kicks off Thursday, Sept. 8th so fantasy fans get your teams assembled & set for opening day. AND....hockey is back on so get set for a fresh season of hockey in October.

That is all...