Mental Health

"God is dead & no one cares"

Depression - a mental state characterized by a pessimistic sense of inadequacy and a despondent lack of activity; sad feelings of gloom and inadequacy caused by a chemical change that affects how the brain functions.

Yes, my friends, it truly does suck for lack of a better term. I didn't lose my wife or husband nor my job or the kids. Hell, I don't even have kids. But by no means does that concur that life is a box of f*cking chocolates either. So I thought rather than waller in my cesspool of grief, I shall put forth information on the topic of depression.

You see I wasn't always like this. In fact, I'm not quite sure when it all came about full circle. I suppose that's what you pay those expensive therapists to figure out. Anyway, it may have been a problem brewing deep under the euphoria of youth. I can't complain about my childhood. If I had to take a stab at when this depression business started to surface, I would say roughly between the years of eleven & fourteen. Those are already troubling times for a kid. Add humility & constant harassment to that, and you're one bummed out kid. As things picked up later in my teenage life, it was once again beaten into submission by the rapture of youth.

Well, obviously the naivete & splendor of being young ends as you grow older. All the stress factors of being an adult take hold & break away the shield your youthful happiness worked so hard to build. Eventually, that damned depression once again penetrates thru, & bickety bam you're bummed. Enough about me.

I put together some entertaining yet useless crap that might shed some humor on your sorrowed mind. Enjoy & cheer up for f*ck's sake.

Worst Things to Say To Someone Who is Depressed
Way too many to list. However, you can add new lines to the list. Mine would read as follows:
Have another drink. Tomorrow will be worse.

Albums I Highly Recommend Avoiding When Depressed

• A Rush of Blood to the Head - Coldplay
• Black Celebration - Depeche Mode
• Unknown Pleasures - Joy Division
• This Is My Truth Tell Me Yours - Manic Street Preachers
• The Fragile - Nine Inch Nails
• Faith - The Cure
• The Wall - Pink Floyd
• Ok Computer - Radiohead
• Surfacing - Sarah MacLachlan
• Starfish - The Church
• Dirt - Alice In Chains (chocked full of suicidal lyrics)
• Source Tags & Codes - And You Will Know Us By the Trail of the Dead
• Master of Puppets - Metallica (yes...Metallica)

These are a few from my personal stash. I tend to steer clear of all Joy Division, Morrissey, & early Cure albums during dark times. Lately, I've grown quite partial of jazz, swing, & big band as it seems to stimulate sporadic waves of happiness throughout my battered mind. It beats the hell out of crying uncontrollably & obsessive rumination. Oh and wear alot of black. It tends to deter those overjoyous, annoying people who feel inclined to pry & resolve your problems on sight.

Well, I must return to my cavern of gloom & doom. Darkness & dementia. Briefly in regards to current events, NOLA is flooding again. The levee in the lower 9th ward has been breached by water caused by the storm surge from Hurricane Rita. Unfortunately, the storm has taken a more northbound trajectory vs. the westbound route originally predicted. Is it just me or does this seem like to beginning of the end? First Adolf Bush II gains control of the country, then came 9-11, then unjustified warfare & genocide, then the re-election, and now storm after storm battering the Gulf Coast with absolute shite federal organization & support.

George W. Bush.... You are truly a f*cking moron and should be tried for countless acts of negligence & murder for all the innocent lives you have destroyed during your reign. Impeachment is too kind.

Much deserved love once again to the folks in/from NOLA & the surrounding areas who have already dealt with enough loss & tragedy to last a lifetime.

Football & Life Thereafter

Well, it's September. Time for football, my friends. College football kicked off a couple weeks back, and the NFL is off and running after today's assortment of games. I jumped on the fantasy bandwagon this year to test my ownership/coaching skills so I have been online obsessing over my players & watching adamantly all blessed day. Thought I'd get a little fantasy practice before I take on the 82 game beast of a hockey fantasy season. The great news is that the Rams lost today to none other than San Francisco. My man, Brandon Lloyd had an outstanding catch for a touchdown in the 1st half. B. Lloyd is from my beloved Fighting Illini football squad. I had the opportunity to watch him blossom as a young player.

That brings me to my next point of business....college football. My favorite f*cking time of the year. Illinois kicked off their season opener to Rutgers two weeks ago. This was Ron Zook's 1st appearance as coach, and let me tell you... it looked ugly for the 1st half. I sat there for two agonizing quarters begging for someone to kill me. It was embarrassing to say the least....and of course ESPN2 was there to present it all to those within viewing coverage. And then came the 2nd half. Suddenly, their heads were plucked from their asses, and they began to take charge. They rallied to come back & win the game in OT 33-30, and the players & fans were ecstatic. It was a relief to see that they actually could play football. After all, the past 2-3 seasons have been somewhat painful to bare witness to.

Week 2..... a spectacular week in college football if I do say so myself. The Illinois hosted San Jose State on Saturday afternoon and proceeded to smack the shite out of them all day. Both offense & defense looked 75-85% better than the previous week, and they didn't take an the entire 1st half to get their shit together. Meanwhile, Notre Dame proceeded to kick Michigan's @ss. Iowa State completely annihilated Iowa.....huge, huge upset. Lastly, the much overrated #4 Ohio State Buckeyes lost at home to #2 Texas Longhorns. That was an exciting to watch in case you missed it. All three loses are good for Illinois should they continue to stay consistent & win. There is hope, my orange & blue believers. Unfortunately, Purdon't did win....always a disgusting feeling.

Week 3 takes the Fighting Illini crew west as they take on the Cal Bears. This will ultimately be the 1st true challenge of the season. Big 10 play kicks of Sept. 24 when the Fighting Illini host the Michigan State Spartans.

Things are slowly, slowly....and I do mean slowly showing signs of improvement in the Mississippi/Louisiana areas. I was fortunate enough to get in touch with my friend who resides in New Orleans. A friend & I have also taken it upon ourselves to gather items such as clothing, money, & household items to send his way and expect to make the 1st shipment tomorrow. The extraordinary thing is that we have had great support from friends & coworkers and have been fortunate to collect several shipments worth of goods. What our friend cannot use he will be able to pass on to others in need. Just trying to do what we can with what we have as every little bit helps. I strongly advise finding a reliable donation site or location and giving either monetary donations or items that are in dire need at this time. Extra clothing, shoes, towels, soap, toothpaste, toothbrushes, hairbrushes, shampoo and etc. & etc. These will make life & their unfortunate circumstances a little easier to cope with as they begin the recovery process. My friend is actually staying in nearby Baton Rouge in hopes to help get involved with the clean-up & recovery of New Orleans as quickly as possible. I assure everyone that I will be making a road trip back to New Orleans shortly after the city has fully recovered to witness the rebirth of New Orleans. Such an extraordinary city...

Keep the peace, my friends. Too much hate & prejudice in the world. Much love.

Until next time...

NOLA

A few years ago, I had the pleasure of exploring the city of New Orleans. I was also fortunate to have an excellent guide who had previously lived there & knew the territory. Some of the history behind the city itself is truly amazing. I attended a wedding aboard a riverboat and cruised alongside the city & the French Quarter. Everything about the city.... the history, the people, the atmosphere, the dark pubs & voodoo shops...absolutely fascinating. I even deeply considered packing up the party & moving there shortly after my return. The humidity & nutria overpopulation were among a few of the factors that convinced me to stay put.

I caught some of the media coverage this afternoon via MSNBC & CNN and was completely astounded. This once phenomenal city now sits in ruins gasping for survival. It's hard to fathom that the coverage broadcast by the media is even within the boundaries of this country.

But it is...

Martial law is in order. The residents of NOLA have been stranded on the island of what remains of the city above flood level. The fact that people are suffering....waiting to die on the streets. This is above & beyond truth that there are still God knows how bodies undiscovered & decaying throughout the entire Louisiana/Mississippi coast. The condition of New Orleans itself is an absolute outrage. The inhumanity is completely surreal.

To witness this city lay in ruins is saddening to me. NOLA was always one of the cities I hoped to explore in my lifetime, and I had the fortunate opportunity given to me by a friend that still resides there. I will always have the memories of how breathtaking the city was as well as how beautiful the people were. A city that thrived on artists, musicians, entertainers, and peddlers of various wares.

to the alcoholic clown balloon artist at the punk pub on crack...
to the punk pub that served perfect black & tans at 9am
to the black male dance group in lime green jump suits (i have their act on tape...amazing)
to the other Allison who had great stories about babysitting Sid Vicious & following the Sex Pistols years prior
to riverboat weddings
to the bar who's balcony overlooking a sidestreet in the Quarter(justice was burned)
to the many artists in the quarter
to the record store dealer who sold an out of print Dead Kennedys album to me at a reasonable price
to the same record store dealer & his friend who shared party favors with us in the rain while watching the infamous Krewe du Vieux parade (that's the dirty pervert parade for you newbies)
to Mike's mom, husband, brother, family, & friends
and especially to Mike....I hope you're ok.

May immediate peace be restored so that this once extraordinary city can hopefully rebuild & start anew. It is imperative that they stop the bleeding for the recovery can begin. That in itself will take much time & patience which is virtually inexistent as it is. But I have hopes that NOLA will breathe life once again.

This puts a bit of a damper on the Illinois football home opener this weekend. However, football seems trivial compared to the current events.

Until next time...