Shiny Happy People

Greetings & salutations.

The summer is zipping by at an astounding pace so I hope everyone is cramming in as much debauchery & hedonistic adventures as possible before the warmth and daylight hours begin to dwindle.
The heat has been wretched death thwarting any efforts to enjoy outdoor activities let alone attend to lawn care duties lately. I've found pleasurable indoor entertainment through reading, video gaming, and intimate, mind melting moments with a friend of a friend so to speak.

Hey...no pointing fingers, Timmy.

Before the death ray of heat parked itself smack over the midwest, I ventured out for a little camping and binge drinking in the thick of the Missouri Ozark Riverways. Here are a few sites worth considering should this area appeal to you campers out there. Most have a variety of floating adventures available including canoes, rafts, kayaks, and tubes. They also tend to book up quickly so get your reservations in and for Pete's sake get there early if arriving on a Friday. OK here we go..








Camp Zoe Home of the infamous Schwagstock & a variety of other festivals.

Speaking of Schwagstock, the next festival is coming up. Schwagstock 27 will take place on 8/12-8/13. Click on the link below for more details.



There are dozens upon dozens of other camping/floating sites throughout Missouri so by all means go explore and find one that appeals to you. If you have any recommendations, please post as I'm always looking for new sites to explore.

I'm pleased to announce that NCAA 2006 for PS2 was released a month or so ago. The game has an added play mode this year known as Race for the Heisman. The gamer is allowed to build a player to his/her liking and add that player to the roster of their choice. The player will complete four seasons in attempt to win the Heisman (at least once). Once the player achieves this task, they can be drafted to the NFL via the new Madden '06. Cool huh?

Tune in next time for reading recommendations and the tale of one Cardinal/Cubs baseball game & a particular shirt. Cheers!

Drink and Be Ill Tonight

.... the condensed edition compliments of Modern Drunkard Magazine. Here are the most important rules to consider whilst drinking yourself into a drunken stupor. I added some personal insight as well so pay attention. Grab a drink and get comfortable.

• There’s nothing wrong with drinking before noon. Especially if you’re supposed to be at work. There's nothing wrong with drinking before 9am if camping or attending a special event or if you enjoy beer for breakfast.
• The bar clock moves twice as fast from midnight to last call.
• Anyone with three or more drinks in his hands has the right of way.
• Beer makes you mellow, champagne makes you silly, wine makes you dramatic, tequila makes you felonious. Scotch makes me belligerent.
• If you hesitate more than three seconds after the bartender looks at you, you do not deserve a drink.
• If you bring booze to a party, you must drink it or leave it.
• It's acceptable, traditional in fact, to disappear during a night of hard drinking. You will appear mysterious and your friends will understand. If they even notice.
• If there is ever any confusion, the fuller beer is yours. NOTE: ALWAYS CHECK FOR BUTTS!
• If there is a line for drinks, get your goddamn drink and step the hell away from the bar.
• Asking a bartender what beers are on tap when the handles are right in front of you is the equivalent of saying, “I'm an idiot.” I do this from time to time.
• Never rest your head on a table or bar top. It is the equivalent of voluntarily putting your head on a chopping block.
• Never lie in a bar. You may, however, grossly exaggerate and lean.
• Your songs will come on as you're leaving the bar.
• Never play more than three songs by the same artist in a row.
• If you do a shot, finish it. If you don't plan to finish it, don't accept it. Sipping is for pussies.
• If you bring Old Milwaukee to a party, you must drink at least two cans before you start drinking the imported beer in the fridge.
• Never complain about the quality or brand of a free drink.
• It is only permissible to shout 'woo-hoo!' if you are doing a shot with four or more people.
• Always have a corkscrew in your house. And a bottle opener especially if you're an import connoisseur.
• Never, ever tell a bartender he made your drink too strong.
• If you offer to buy a woman a drink and she refuses, she does not like you.
• If you offer to buy a woman a drink and she accepts, she still might not like you.
• Get the bartender's attention with eye contact and a smile.
• Never borrow more than one cigarette from the same person in one night. I do but that's besides the point.
• and the most important rule to remember.... it's okay to drink alone.

Until next time....

Tuck Ferrorism

Right. So I had some lovely updates & whatnot to share but decided to go on a tirade regarding money, power, and how it will be the death of humankind. Power & greed are quite the lethal combination. Throw oil into the mix, and you have the ingredients for an Apocalypse cocktail. The bullying and bloodshed will not end until their (the bullies) demands are met.....which based on their latest statement is get the f*ck out of our country & stop killing our people. Apparently they post threats, but no one seems to listen until after the fact. Be sure to go buy your Union Jack car flag as soon as possible to show your support. Let's get the Brits on the patriotism bandwagon. Sarcasm....sorry.

Much love to London on this shite day.

For more info., please opt to visit these sites rather than propaganda-fueled sites such as Fox News & CNN.

The Guardian
BBC