News of the World

Greetings Program. It's that time of year when we are forced to be merry, suck the life from our bank accounts, & consume food/alcohol in excess with little regard for the people who cannot. The time of year where throngs of truly insane people flock to the nearest malls & dept. stores to have their annual holiday flip out. It's madness along the shopping frontline. People with their carts flying all over the place with little regard for their fellow shoppers. Self-medication is a must if you want to survive this onslaught of erratic behavior and indulgence. I've made it thus far without bludgeoning anyone to death with my shopping cart. However, twelve days of this madness still remain.

Throughout the years, there has always been one sole item that incites riots & violence among mothers across the country. This is for whatever reason expected & accepted every year and generally kicks off the day after Thanksgiving. These are the toys that drive parents to kill & maime. This year it happens to be the XBox 360 by none other than Microsoft. Listed below are some of the toys that have sparked historic hysteria over the years.

Tamagotchi's Virtual Pet


Worlds of Wonder's Teddy Ruxpin


Sony's Playstation 2


TYCO's Tickle Me Elmo


Hasbro's Care Bear


Razor's Scooter

Hasbro's Furby


and the Grandmaster Flash of them all...
Coleco's Cabbage Patch Kids



Last Thursday (12/8) marked the 25th anniversary of John Lennon's assassination. Fans flocked to the Imagine mosaic in Central Park then moved on to Strawberry Fields to pay tribute. Yoko Ono was among the throng of followers. His murderer, Mark David Chapman, is up for parole next year, which will make his forth attempt. Lennon would have been 65 years of age if he were alive today.

The much anticipated U2 concert is finally upon fans in the St. Louis area. The festivities kick off in approximately 120 minutes at the fine Hooters establishment located in Union Station. Pitchers and wings for all to enjoy. The show kicks off at 7:30PM with Kayne West. Hey, don't ask me. I didn't book the show opener. At any rate, U2 fans should head towards their seats between 8:30 and 9PM should they choose to bypass Kayne West's set.

Lastly, a big, fat goes out to John today as he celebrates his 14th birthday. May the waitress grant him a jubblie dance for everyone should have a go at the jubblies on their birthday.

Cheers!